Jump in at the deep end.
Photographed near our old home, Seltjarnarnes.
Kindly equipped with beautiful Stutterheim raincoats - Thank you!
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So we moved apart. Not just into two different apartments but also two different parts of the south western island. While Einar and I are already done moving, Caro and Logi are still waiting for their newly bought home to be free, with their moving date being around first of July. When they have left our old house and successfully moved into their new home a 20 minute drive will separate us. It's the first time after more than five years that we are not sharing an apartment. It broke my heart in the first place but after the several sleeps in my new home a certain understanding dawned up on me: this is actually gonna do a lot for our friendship. With us living together and working together the past few years our conversations slowly grew into 'nothing-but-work' talks and whenever we headed out for adventures we took the camera with us to take pictures for the website. Just now we realised how that actually stole real and honest friendship time. We want to go to cafés together, ride bicycles together, travel together, have our long chats and massive laughs - without work being any part of it. Just two friends that share dreams and hopes and plans for life, not projects to work on. We have always been radical in our decisions, moving apart is yet another one of them. We both need some time to reconnect with our creativity, to get out of the shallow waters of routine and jump back into the deep end of unlimited possibilities. We love each other from the bottom of our hearts and we WILL move closer to each other, again in the not so distant future but of course (no matter how much we think and feel alike) we are still two different human beings. With different needs. Caro wants to finally write a book, I really REALLY want to go out to photograph more. Caro loves DIY projects, I love Social Media. We both want to buy a canoe and paddle the Icelandic lakes and rivers but while Caro is more of a bike person, I am more of a hike one. I want to learn how to surf, Caro so utterly wants to refurbish an old home. We have damn much in common but we forgot to care about the things we are different in. We literally forgot how to be just friends. We want to go out for dinners and wine together, we wanna join the gym together, we might even take a modern dance class and Icelandic lessons together. But we also want to start thinking of what our individual hearts desire.
I miss having coffee with Caro in our shared kitchen every single morning, already. I miss midnight snacking and talking about silly things that just crossed our minds in front of the fireplace. But I miss traveling together way more. Sleepovers with tons of crappy food and even crappier movies. Most of all, I miss being free of work together. After all those years we were trapped in a balance that was work/work and not much else.
I most certainly will drive to Caro's new home several times a week to hang out and talk and laugh and plan and dream. I most certainly will ask her every other weekend if she wants to do something fun. With the boys or just the two of us. We will barbecue and drink and camp and hike and bike and live. But we also will get to know ourselves a little better, again. You never know what the future brings, of course but we both have a very crisp and clear vision of what we hope our lives will be like. And I am 100% sure that the two rocking chairs on the country house porch will be very real when we are both 80 and retired. We will sit there on our wooden veranda and reminisce about the past and we are going to have an absolute blast.
For the upcoming months, we will continue working on the website together but it is not certain if Caro will stick around, for good. Maybe she will say Hi every now and then but for most of the time she will pursue her own path and dreams. And that's amazing, in my opinion. Above all, I only want her to be happy. She is the sister I chose, the family of mind, she is my soulmate and I don't even care how cheesy that sounds. So even though this change does sting I know it is for the best. It will make our lives better, bigger and gives us the space to achieve our individual goals. It's been a wild journey, some amazing years and I am not regretting a single thing. We are where we are because we did what we did and made the choices we made. Now it's time to move on and to open up the next chapter. I wanna hear all about Caro's book. I wanna help whenever she feels stuck. I want to do whatever I can to make it happen. I want to share my struggles with her, my successes, my tears and my happiness. I really and honestly don't want us to get sucked in to a nothing-but-the-job life and friendship. We are way more than work mates and it's about time that we stop living like such. So we jumped in at the deep end. Radically moved apart to try and figure out what the individuals that we are truly want and seek. To have the headspace for more. More life, more adventures, more happiness.
We will stick to each others side, come what may - a few kilometers won't change a thing. But it will improve the quality of the time we do spend together. How I can't wait to go to England for a true, work free holiday, to visit our families (Caro and I will spend more than a month in Germany this summer to finalize the emigration that will hopefully be completed by the end of this very year). Which means balcony and ice cream and series marathons and walks in the woods). I can't wait to plan picnics in Icelandic nature, or trips to the East, North, West of the country. I can't wait to take out our bikes, canoes or whatever we feel like and spend days in the sun. Most of all, I can't wait to simply do all this for fun, without stressing over content plans, to do lists or money. As friends. As family.
So even though this distance (it's a few kilometers, that counts as distance!) really sucks - it is a good step at a good time. It gives us freedom to concentrate on building our individual futures and our future together, as well. And yeah, you might have guessed it - we are constantly texting and talking on the phone, anyways.
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